Club League Round 3: Corkagh Park Crit 30 mins + 2 laps

Long Story Short

• Feeling good in the race,
• Made the catch to Limit after 10 mins
• My calf cramped at 16 mins as I was about to go off the front,
• Took a lap out to stretch it, but missed the group,
• Got the finish line Video.

Strava

Ride: Club League Round 3: Corkagh Park crit 30mins + 2laps.

Flybys: Round 3.
I enabled:

• The Lukester,
• Gar, he started with Semi-Limit and finished 3rd,
• Robbie, started with Semi-Limit and made an attack on the second last lap,
• Simon, started with Limit and won.

Short Story Long

Build-up

I got a letter, my apartment management company, €65 rent increase per person per calendar month kicking in in August. Paris-Roubaix was on, I looked at the Paddy Power odds. Tony Martin was at 65/1. This was fate. He would win this classic on Trentin's bike and pay my rent increase. I put €1 on him and €10 on Sagan at 3/1. I got up early to watch the full coverage. Early in the race, Tony was put on the front because Ettix-QuickStep cannot make a break. Then after the Cancellara crash, I watched my €11 go up in smokes. Sagan's group was blown apart and Tony was sent to the front to push the gap out by burning all his matches, like someone trying to light a cigarette in the wind.

What are the government doing about these rent increases? Debating over a fucking prayer at the start of the day. The only God answering their prayers is Loki. Where's my USC decrease? Where's the increase in housing supply to counteract this supply and demand crisis? The Independents need to sort their shit out and pick a fucking side. Prior to the election, I instinctively thought that Independents were shit cunts, just there to take up space and pick up €100k per year. I changed my opinion during the election, I dared to dream that maybe they could actually do something. But now, I have reverted it back to shit cunts.

Alan Kelly celebrating his free €100k and ability to practice nepotism. Labour are basically independents.

I got two cycles in since the last race. On Tuesday Night Hills, I took 1:20 of my PB up Curagh Rd. to Pine Forest. I was feeling good going to sleep... Until I seen Brendan's pictures of human dominos in the Women's B-race Sprint finish.

Pre-Race

I got to the track ealier than last week. There was a Strata3-VeloRevolution guy doing laps. He seemed pretty chill. I did my warmup, maybe I didn't do as good a one are the previous week. Killian joined me for the Hamstring stretches.

Tommy arrived. Everyone looked at each other nervously. Some were intimidated, others just didn't want to stare. I took a glance when he wasn't looking. His jersey was a bit looser on his arms. I used to go to the gym a lot, take Z-Mag, Creatine, Protein and eat scrambled Hen Periods. I knew what boat he was in. He wanted to be seen as more than just biceps. He wanted to be seen as a man... with a kick-ass beard. Ann had published an article about the Tour of the Foothills, about 20% of the article was describing Tommy's biceps. With all publishing companies looking for the next 50 Shades of Grey and/or Danielle Steele, Ann might be setting herself up for career change.

John rang his bell. This signalled 5 minutes to go. He gave the usual preamble speech, the shortened version is "Don't be a shit cunt during the race". Yvonne had a mechanical on the start line. She commandeered Rebecca's bike. We had Martin and Grainne making their League debuts.

Race

When Limit got to the bottom corner, I started agitating to be let go. I was saying "Now, come on, that's far enough" to John. Romano was in front of me, sealing a few inches. We were unleashed. I couldn't clip-in. My cleats are pretty messed-up since I changed them. I'll probably need to get them checked with lazers.

I was near the back on the first few laps. I needed to get to the front. At the back, you're red lining it to keep pace and you'll also miss the moves. I moved up slowly. My legs were not working, my warm up was not right. Gaining ground on the finish straight. Last week, I used this straight to take a sip of water. This week I was too focused on making up places. I eventually hit the front about seven minutes in to the race. On the main straight, I was on the front, I gestures for people to roll through. I got some help in the form of two able bodies. Not exactly the Calais Jungle I was hoping for.

We were reeling in Limit riders. Lots of us were sensing blood. I got boxed in and a bad corner had me at the back again chasing on. I was slightly off the back when the catch was actually made. Some lad messed up the last turn, went into the grass and then pulled out in front of a few of us. The pace up front slowed and we caught back on. We made the catch after ten minutes of the thirty.

It was going to be a slight rest, then time to start shelling riders. I was making up places safely. At sixteen minutes I was mid-pack. I was feeling really good, warmed up just in time for the business end of the race. Matt was in front of me, there was lots of space on the right to move up. I asked Matt to attack. When he declined my generous invitation, I spun it up. On the drops, low profile, Luke Ewan. I hit the front.

Now was the time to take a few riders with me. Split the field. Hopefully catch some of the stronger lads out of position. Divide up the points between us. This would be the winning move. I had the hair gel in the car, I've been working on a mohawk/mullet, ready for the podium. I was ready for my value, in the Orwell Fantasy League, to skyrocket. People would not be able to have Brian Mc and I in the same team.

That was the dream. But just as my gap started to go out. My non-driveside calf cramped. There was a pain in my calf that felt like a pull. I tried to jam it back into place with my thumb. This did not work and Doctor Luke was reeled back in, chewed up and spat out. I pulled in on the home straight. I told John that I was going to take a lap out. I stretched the calf. It felt better. I tried to jump back on as the main group passed. But I was gone full Matt Stevens. I could not clip in. I missed the group. Race Over.

Post-Race

I decided to be helpful, I rushed to the car and changed into warm clothes. I picked up my phone. I heard the bell being rung. John's ringing of the bell would later be known as "Bellgate". I sprinted to the track, as I, like Tommy and Robbie, though it was the last lap. I had the camera ready to record in 120fps, to get the slow-motion video. The group approached, but John was shouting last lap. Dave was asking where Tommy was.

It wasn't the last lap. I got the finish of the race. Simon won, for real this time. I helped John identify the placers.

Robbie and Tommy were very confused. They went for it on the Bell Lap. But that bell only signified the end of the 25 minutes. So they had run out of steam for the actual final. Mistakes were made. The #JusticeForTommyAndRobbie hashtag didn't gain much traction on Twitter, despite The FroomeDog championing their cause.

What Was Learned

I need to drink more to avoid cramps.
I need to monitor the warmup too, last year 4x45seconds @ Z6 worked well for me.