I can’t take part in the rest of the league, as I’m on a training plan for Liege-Bastogne-Liege and the Etape du Tour. I really enjoyed the three rounds that I raced. The start pens were always good banter.
After my three rounds and was thirteenth overall. Thanks to the 3R Team for putting this series on. Marc Swatton posts route preview videos every week, which catch the eye. It’s a currently more popular series on Tuesday nights than the KISS Europe Race.
Events of the Series: 3R Ultimate Racing League zone 1 Events
Dalen vs Bath Salts is the main rivalry in the C Category. After four rounds they are tied on 398 points each. You are scored on your top five results. So over the next five rounds they’ll have to improve the number of wins that they have.
Bolt Racing Team, BRT, are doing well too, with four of their riders in the top six. Harvey, Hardy and Cope are their top men.
Bath Salts has been a looming spectre on my Zwift Racing career. In my first C grace race last winter, we were in the start pens. He was writing that it was his first race. I showed solidarity with him and told him that it was my first C grade race. I felt special that we could share this moment together. That it had formed an unbreakable bond between two men.
The following week we were in the pens (actually, not the podcast) and he said the same thing “it’s my first race, go easy on me.” I bantered back “it was your first race last week too!”. The third week, I was willing, ready, and waiting to spring the trap. Zwift said “Bath Salts has joined”, I pre-empted him, stole his thunder “guys, please go easy on Bath Salts, it’s his first race”. Oh man it felt sweet. Then I got dropped in the starting accelerations.
Round 1: Richmond UCI 32.4km
8 January 2019
I missed round one. It produced a split field, with the leaders almost a minute ahead of the ...and please don’t sue me… peloton.
1 Richard Dalen Vikings 49:58
2 Bath Salts +11.20s
3 Juanjo Ferres ZESP +11.22s
4 Patch Harvey BRT +56.63s
5 Janez Potočnik SLOVENIA +61.00s
Round 2: Greatest London Flat 54.1km
15 January 2019
I wanted to enter a KISS Race, as I thought that they were still the biggest field. I noticed in the Zwift Companion app that this 3R Race had almost sixty entrants. So I entered, to see what the craic was.
I didn’t know who would show up. The Spanish Zwifters (ZESP) were chatting away. Then my boy, Bath Salts, enters. The name commanded respect from the others. There was another lad riding in Dublin, we formed an unbreakable bond. I posted that I was pumping the Belgian Techno, starting my build up for CX Worlds. I formed an unbreakable bond with a Belgian rider, who was also pumping the Belgian Bass.
I made the front group from the gun. I had to sprint hard after losing some ground through the downhill tunnel. On the climb to the roundabout, after the Ninety Degree right hander the splits appeared. I held a solid 300W on the climb. That 4.2 WKG, wasn’t enough to keep with the front group. I was unable to close any more distance than the Four Meters. With a little help from other riders we got back to the front group.
We held steady, our group was close to a minute ahead of the next group. I could see the gap, as I’m no good at holding pack position, and was frequently at the back. I got the route indicator for “Tower Bridge”, and I remembered that that has a slight incline on it. I hit the corner first. Same at the bottom of the Underground stairs, there’s a slight ramp over the tracks.
The course indicator for “Box Hill” caught everyone off guard. I didn’t know the course, and thought that we were doing a full Box Hill. I rode my own tempo, and then realized that it was only a lower slope of Box Hill and was dropped. I fought hard to catch the two riders in front of me and ended up in a group riding for 16th. All the favourites made the top fifteen group.
Our three man group did well, we were matched going up the Underground stairs. There was a big group behind us, they were closing the gap steadily. Most of them were riding at a 0.5 WKG higher than us. There was an Irishman leading the chase, one Tom Morrissey.
I was having an issue with my cadence. My legs were not able to spin the gears at my preferred cadence. The gear that I was in was too heavy, resulting in 75rpm, and a bigger cog spun at 90rpm, was not producing enough power. My legs were getting zapped.
We were caught on the flats after the climb to the roundabout. I held a good position. I could see that the front group were putting down the hammer, as their gap was extending all the time.
I attacked well over the bridge and the railway tracks. On the lower slopes of Box Hill, I held a solid 275W, 3.9 WKG and I put twelve seconds into the group. For a little while I though I could stay away. They were playing the long game. On the second ramp, my 250W, seen me swallowed up. I choose to only do 250W, as I knew we had the steep stairs to come.
One guy took a flyer after the stairs, but he didn’t get very far. We rode as a group, pretty much Zone 2 all the way to the final hot dog corner. I put in an effort before the corner, so I would be driving out of it. It was exactly one kilometer to go. I can’t sprint. Everyone else shot off. My legs were completely gone from the low cadence.
I got 18th because I can’t sprint my way out of a wet paper bag.
1 Bath Salts 1:21:34
2 Richard Dalen Vikings +0.18s
3 Patch Harvey BRT +2.10s
4 Juanjo Ferres ZESP +5.05s
5 Dan O'Shea Race3R +7.03s
18 Luke GJ Potter Scott-Orwell +05m41s
Round 3: Road To Ruins Reverse 29.6km
22 January 2019
An Individual Time Trial. I tried to spark up the Dalen vs. Bath Salts rivalry in the holding area. From the gun, it wasn’t as hard as a standard race. I was holding a position in the top twenty. I was losing ground on the flats and gaining it back on the hills. I do think that I went too deep on the hills in the first twenty minutes.
At the bottom of the Jungle circuit, is where the wheels came off. I just couldn’t turn over a gear comfortably. I curse not lowering the Trainer Resistance. I only needed, maybe a five percent drop in resistance. To get a nice gear. I struggled a lot on the climb up to the top of the jungle circuit. I battled for position with some others on the way from the Jungle circuit to the bottom of the hill. Then it was just riding on the flat back to the start line.
I finished, like I had oil, with Americans surrounding me. Brown beat me by ten seconds and I beat Matthews by ten seconds. Looking at the riders that I beat, I used my 2.76 WKG very well, to “Work the Road” as Cam Wurf would say.
The worst thing is that I got narrowly beaten by Travis Brown, who is part of a self-made team, hubrisly called “Not Vegan”. Yeah, no fucking worries mate, Antibiotic Resistant Superbugs aren’t a fucking thing. Wait, yes they are. Irish Hospitals are full of MRSA, which in bible terms is the John the Baptist of Superbugs. There’s a Jesus level 50 Zwifter SuperBug coming to kill us all, and you’re contributing.
Read “Farmageddon”, watch “Earthlings”, listen to Michael Bisping describe working in a Slaughter house on Joe Rogan! RIP Cows.
On my warm down, my housemate’s kid was showing me the Baby Shark dance. My heart rate went back up to 156bpm during the dance moves.
1 Richard Dalen Vikings 47:48
2 Bath Salts +44.78s
3 Matt Cope BRT +1m26s
4 Patch Harvey BRT +1m30s
5 J Barts Tri-bow +1m36s
17 Luke GJ Potter Scott-Orwell +4m42s
Round 4: Volcano Climb After Party 40.2km
29 January 2019
Bath Salts went from the gun. 37 km 3 man breakaway! He had a Canadian domestique, Choppa. There was an English guy who Brexited with them. He pushed 3.5 WKG and was Disqualified by a website with a pair of balls. Cat C’s answer to the infamous Les Jeffs.
Dalen was sitting in the bunch with us. On the second lap, I tried to be an honorary Viking, despite what they did to my people, but I have fair hair and haven’t done a 23&Me test, so I might be an official Viking, and I took 5 seconds out of the break’s lead from 15s to 10s. We all stopped working and the gap ballooned to forty seconds.
Despite being almost a minute down, Dalen and his Shield Wall stormed to the base of the Volcano, where the gap was closed. The Brave Bath Salts, resisted the Swine Array, held on by 0.26 of a second to win over Dalen.
My knowledge of Viking military tactics derives from me listening to “The Norseman Saga” books by James L. Nelson. I’ve also seen Lough Tay, where the Vikings show has been filmed. So much of it is CGI, as they only have two huts and a jetty on set.
Further back in time and further back on the climb, my legs died. I was dropped on the double ramps on the entrance to the Volcano Circuit. I ended up between Paul Rich and Bjørn Bjartnes. I slowly closed on, the Welshman, Rich. I ensured to attack him on the flat part the goes inside the top of the Volcano, to get a gap.
I had eight seconds on Rich before the final kilometer. He scared me with a charge, but I had enough of a cushion to accelerate later and hold him off. I got to pretend to be Ian Bibby for a few seconds at least.
1 Bath Salts 1:02:25
2 Richard Dalen Vikings +0.26s
3 Stuart Hardy BRT +4.59s
4 Bart Vanlommel BZR +8.35s
5 Thomas Reinecke RuhrRiders +8.37s
16 Luke GJ Potter Scott-Orwell +3m09s
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